Published on Wednesday, May 11, 2011 by Viking Voice
Sorry it’s been a while since my last journal entry. A lot of crazy stuff has been going on here at Bryan High since Phranklin and I found out that the freaky teacher, Ms. Eichelberger, is a zombie.
This morning, we all came to school thinking we would have a regular Monday. We showed up to homeroom, but something was missing – there weren’t any teachers in any of the classrooms. Where were they? Running around the school, eating human flesh for breakfast.
“Students, please don’t panic,” Lester Banks said on the speaker Monday morning. “We will be in lockdown for a while. I repeat, we will be in lockdown. Please find your way into a nearby classroom or any other place that is not in the hallways. Also students, don’t forget to wear your ID’s and have a good day.”
Lester, our hall monitor, is the only staff member at Bryan High School left standing. Everyone else has been turned into a zombie.
“Everyone, we have got to get out of here, now,” I said making gestures towards the door. I don’t think anyone heard me because they were either on their phone or asleep.
I spoke up, louder. “Hello? People, we have to leave, like, right now or we’ll all get eaten by ZOMBIES!”
At that point everyone woke up and finally made their way out the door. While we were making our way to the nearest exit, we heard this moaning sound coming from down the hallway, and what do you know… zombies, making their way toward us for their breakfast.
That’s when everyone freaked out. Half the kids in our class started running toward the zombies (I know, what morons) and the newspaper staff across the hall from us completely flipped out and got attacked by zombies as well. It wasn’t a very pretty sight.
Apparently, since I managed to get everyone out of the classroom, they all turned to me as if I would know what to do next.
“Gilbert,” said this girl from my geometry class, “What do we do now?”
I looked around the hallways, searching for an answer to her question. There were zombies everywhere, on the hunt for students, wobbling around and just having a good ol’ time. I suddenly remembered that at this point, there weren’t any teachers around except for Lester, so that meant we could leave. Well, more like we had no choice.
“We have to get out of here. Follow me!” I said, leading everyone to the door, dodging zombies all the way (it’s a good thing they’re rather slow, or I’m pretty sure I would be a zombie right now too.)
So anyway, we reach the door, and guess what? There are boards over all the doors. Yeah, all of them! I guess some of the zombies were clever enough to trap us in the building. At that point, we all start to panic, except for Phranklin who never really panics, he just gets really excited about things.
“Um, I think we should, like… hide!” Phranklin said jumping up and down. We looked at him like he was some real moron.
“Okay, thank-you Einstein,” I said. “I say we all make our way to the basement, I think it’s our best bet.” Everyone nodded in agreement.
“No way Bro, we have to hide in in the auto tech rooms! They have all these tools and stuff in there, so that we can defeat any zombies that try to come in,” Phranklin said. Everyone nodded in agreement, again. I swear, teenagers just go with anything you say.
I thought about it for a moment. Phranklin did have a point. If we hid in the auto tech rooms, we would have tools to use to get rid of the zombies. But then again, the basement is below the school, and the zombies most likely won’t make their way down there since the doors make it look like it’s just a closet.
At that point, the zombies were only a few feet away from us, and we had to make a decision, fast.
“Fine, whoever wants to come with me to the basement can tag along,” I said. I looked at my best friend, whom I’ve been through everything with from the time we were in diapers. “Those who want to go to the locker room can go with Phranklin.”
We split up, there were about ten that came with me down to the basement and ten went with Phranklin to the locker room. We’ve been here all day, and we’re trying to make up a plan to escape, or get rid of the zombies. Perferably both.
The basement is very gross and very stuffy. Honestly, it smells like death and hospitals.
Anyway, down in the basement we hooked up the super-ancient mini T.V. You’ll never guess what we saw on CNN- Anderson Cooper in front of our school! Yeah, I know, it’s crazy! He was trying to communicate with the zombies, but I don’t think it was working out so well.
“So, what exactly are those things that want to, you know, eat us?” asked the girl from my geometry class.
“Zombies,” I said matter of factly. “It all started with Ms. Eichelberger, that creepy history teacher. She infected everyone.”
“Zombies?” asked Pedro, Paco’s best friend. “Not zombies, chupacabras, taking over the world!”
“Are you crazy, man? Guys they’ve obviously turned into aliens or something.”
“Oh my gosh, are you guys all dumb or something? Come on, let’s be realistic here, it’s just a pandemic that’s going around.”
“So we’re all going to get infected?!”
“So we’re all going to DIE?!”
“I honestly don’t see much of a difference between the zombies and the regular people that come here to school. They all look like zombies, or whatever, either way.”
“NO!” I shouted over everyone arguing. “Guys, we’re going to be fine, we just have to find a way to get rid of them.”
Oh! We also found a stash of fresh food in one of the refrigerator. We figured it was where the staff takes snack breaks.
Today we went into action to get the zombies under control.
We decided to use the strategy the people used to get rid of the Blob, you know that ancient “horror” movie? Anyway, Pedro and Paco got the zombies’ attention by holding up broccoli (apparently zombies really like their veggies) in front of this huge freezer in the cafeteria. The girl in my geometry class and I opened the freezer right as the zombies were charging towards Pedro and Paco. The guys threw the broccoli into the freezer, and before we knew it, we got some zombies locked in!
We figured that if they were in the freezer long enough, they would eventually just freeze to death. Problem solved, right?
Wrong. there are a lot, and I mean like, a lot of zombies in this school. If you think about it, there are 216 staff members, all zombies, plus more than half of our student population of 2,273 so that makes the grand total of… at least more than 1,353 zombies in the school, and counting. Wow! You can only fit so many zombies in a freezer.
So we have to make a new plan to get rid of these monsters. I honestly don’t know what to do. I tried calling 1-800-ZOMBIES because, I mean, this is America and there’s a 1-800 number for absolutely anything you can think of, right? Well, there’s no Zombie Hotline. America has failed.
This morning we went to check on the zombies in the freezer. We cracked the door open incase they attacked us, and what do you know? They’re all frozen! The only problem is that I’m not sure how many zombies we can fit into the freezer. That’s going to be a problem.
Thankfully, we have made a new discovery. In the refrigerator, there were stacks and stacks of green, fresh grapes. I mean, there were like, a trillion grapes in that refrigerator!
Anyway, while geometry girl (whose name I finally figured out is Lacy. I know, beautiful name) was eating grapes, I noticed that the zombies were randomly just falling to the floor. They’re not dead though, it’s like they’re in a coma or something. So I told Lacy, Paco and Pedro to keep eating grapes, and the zombies just kept falling into a coma. I made sure too, I poked them with a pole and they just layed there, breathing but not waking up. They even snore!
I’m really glad we figured out that grapes act as a sort of voodoo doll thing for zombies, because I don’t know what else we would’ve done.
Unfortunately, we lost Paco and Pedro when we decided to go find the others. A sad day, indeed.
Lacy and I made our way over to the auto tech rooms to find Phranklin’s group and see if they’ve figured out anything about the outside or the zombies or something.
While we were on our way to auto tech, Lacy and I ran into this huge group of zombies. We began to eat grapes furiously, like we were literally just stuffing them in our mouths and swallowing those grapes. There were a lot of zombies, though, and eventually we ran out of grapes. They encircled us and we were trapped.
This is it, I thought, I’m really about to become a zombie. What about my family? What about my goldfish Leonitis? And my pal, my Bro, Phranklin? Oh, and Lacy, sweet pretty Lacy. I thought we were going to date after all this, we really had something going on. Oh, what a screw up man, what a-
And at that moment, I saw Phranklin’s face, yes Phranklin, with broccoli in his hand.
“Here zombies, come on zombies,” he called to them like they were puppies. The zombies raced to him and he threw the broccoli into a different freezer than we’ve been using. Phranklin then shut the door and secured it.
“Hey man!” I said to Phranklin, giving him a hug. I know, a hug, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Hey Bro, how’s it goin’? Lester and I have gotten a lot of zombies in the freezer ‘cause we figured we could, like, freeze them, you know?”
“Yeah dude, we figured that out,” I said. “Also grapes act as voodoo dolls, for the zombies.”
We all walked to the gym and found Lester loading a nurf gun. Apparently, zombies get knocked out really easily.
“Our main goal is to get the Dominator under control,” Lester said.
“The Dominator?” Lacy asked. “What’s the Dominator?”
“The Dominator is like, the goddess of all zombies, the mother monster, like Lady Gaga!” Phranklin was describing. “She’s huge and undefeatable. She lives in one of the closets over by the cafeteria and all the other zombies bring her food and like, literally worship her.”
I nodded. “Well, maybe with all four of us, we can get rid of her.”
So we went on a quest to find this Dominator. We have already gotten rid of almost all the zombies, eating grapes and shooting nurfs at them, and we got a lot of them on our way to the Dominator.
Finally, we came to this little closet where the Dominator was hiding. When Lester opened the door, I couldn’t believe what I saw.
The Dominator was huge, and I mean huge, like Phranklin said. The only normal part about her was her short brown hair and her glasses and she wore a pink shirt and khaki capri pants. She kind of snarled at us, flashing her sharp teeth with flesh hanging down from them. Her skin was green and looked a lot like Ms. Eichelberger’s, only much worse. Her nails were purple and her tongue was blue. She was a monster. And the funny thing is she reminded me a lot of the newspaper teacher I see around all the time.
“Wait a second… is that…?” I trailed off.
“Yup,” said Lester. “Mrs. Dominy. Good ol’ Mrs. Dominy. Such a shame.”
“So she was behind all this? Mrs. Dominy was a zombie all along?” Lacy asked. She’s in yearbook with Mrs. Dominy, and I always heard about how chill and awesome she was. “She was the best teacher ever and she’s a zombie?!”
“Guys, we have got to do something about this,” I said looking up at the Dominator. I saw the hunger in her eyes.
We finally decided to put her in the freezer because grapes weren’t working. At first we tried luring her with more broccoli, but apparently this zombie hates broccoli, along with every other vegetable. She does, however, like bacon cheeseburgers. Phranklin pulled one out of his bag (who knows how old that thing was) and the Dominator went nuts! She charged towards that bacon cheeseburger as if she’d never eaten in her life.
Phranklin threw the bacon cheeseburger into the freezer and the Dominator followed it. We locked the door and double checked it to make sure it was secured.
We all sighed with relief. “We did it!” Lacy exclaimed.
At that moment, all the zombies in the coma from those grapes began moving, and slowly each of them began waking up.
“Um, guys…” I said, backing away.
“Oh no,” Phranklin said. “I thought they were dead!”
“Nope, just asleep. I guess they’ve woken up,” I said, feeling panic take over me.
So here are these zombies, coming towards us with empty stomachs. We were out of grapes and we barely had any broccoli left. We used what we had left of that, which got about ten zombies into the freezer. The rest, Lester shot with his nurf gun and we managed to stuff them all in the last freezer that didn’t have zombies in it.
When we finally got all the zombies locked away, it suddenly hit me like a slap in the face- the zombies would eventually thaw.THE END