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The Norseman

Mint condition: Girl Scout Cookies prove addictive, worth money

January is the best month of the year. I love the crisp cool air, the cute sweater outfits, and it’s National Soup Month, and who doesn’t love that. BUT, there is one thing that tops the air, sweaters, and yes, even soup. Three words: Girl Scout Cookies. 

Usually I would give a little bit more information about Girl Scouts and why they sell, but we have to get straight to the cookies. This year, the variety is made up of  Peanut Butter Sandwiches, Peanut Butter Patties, Caramel deLites, Caramel Chocolate Chips, Toffee-tastics, Shortbreads, Thanks-a-lots, Girl Scout S’mores, Lemonades, and Thin Mints. I know, overwhelming, right? Don’t worry, I can condense this into a super helpful guide to complete your order sheet this cookie season to prioritize your $4.00 purchase.

Though I enjoy the idea of all Girl Scout Cookies and like to buy them for other people, I really only like two of the flavors for myself. 

I’m not a fan of peanut butter in cookies, but for those who do enjoy the cream filling, there are two different types to choose from: 

Peanut Butter Sandwiches, which also go by the name Do-si-dos. This is an oatmeal cookie on the outside with creamy peanut butter on the inside. It just doesn’t feel like a treat…instead it feels like you are eating a giant Lance peanut butter cracker…then you need some milk…and no one needs milk…ever.

The Peanut Butter Patty, also known as a Tagalongs is another cookie for the peanut butter lovers, this time surrounded in chocolate. These are okay but need more peanut butter and more chocolate…they really just need to be a different cookie.

I don’t really like coconut either…it makes me feel like I’m eating worms, or maybe a furry caterpillar, but others really enjoy the flaky texture of bugs. Caramel deLites, also known as Samoas, are chocolate dipped, coconut covered, caramel drizzled cookies. Not to be that person, but I think they are way too overrated and not my favorite. 

For those that can’t eat normal cookies and live a life without gluten, Toffee-Tastics or Caramel Chocolate Chips are the cookie for you. These cookies are appreciated by many because they are completely gluten free, but still gives them that Girl Scout Cookie fix. The Toffee-Tastic is a sugar cookie with toffee bits sprinkled in the mixture. The Caramel Chocolate Chip is the classic chocolate chip and caramel cookie, and like Toffee-Tastic, is gluten free. It is filled with chocolate chip bits, sea salt, and caramel. If you can have gluten though…pick something else.

Shortbread cookies…also known as old people cookies. These are the classic butter sugar and flour cookies. Shortbreads are known for their simplicity and the Girl Scout symbol on the top. They aren’t really good, they aren’t really bad…they’re just cardboard.

The Thanks-A-Lot is a slight improvement on the shortbread cookie as it adds a layer of chocolate on the bottom, giving the cookie some kind of flavor. The Thanks-A-Lot also, as you might have guessed, says Thank You on the top in different languages. I would like to insult this cookie more, but it’s a little difficult when it is such a polite little cookie.

Because Girl Scouts like to sit by the campfire and rough-it, the Girl Scout S’mores are full of two layers of graham cracker and marshmallow, covered in a layer of milk chocolate. At first it tastes good, but ultimately comes across as too sweet and leaves you craving a giant stack of bacon cheese fries…which isn’t a bad thing either really.

If you like Beyonce, you will love Lemonades. These tangy, lemon-iced sugar cookies with a cute lemon design in the middle are great. If you’re not a big chocolate or peanut butter person, these might be the perfect cookies to try this year. This is my go-to cookie if some evil person has already purchased all of my favorite cookies. I would be a “Beautiful Liar” and a “Broken-Hearted Girl” if I didn’t “Run the World” and tell you to buy these cookies. Even “If I were a Boy” I would love these cookies and I’m always on a “Countdown” for the next box.

Thin Mints. Thin Mints. Thin Mints. These are by far the best thing created in the universe. Thin Mints are mint flavored cookies with chocolate covering that with make your mouth water. They are the snack that you eat at 2 a.m. when there is nothing in the refrigerator. They are your healthy complete breakfast you can grab when you run out the door. They are the romantic meal that you share on a one year anniversary. They are the perfect ingredient for any recipe. Thin Mints are the reason I get up, the reason I push through my day, and once cookie season ends, it pushes me to make it another year. Thin Mints.

Even though I only like two types of cookies…give all of them a try, you might like them. Girl Scout Cookies are amazing and Hobby Lobby should carry decorations for the season. Of course that means the shelves would be stocked with supplies around September…just four short months before the season kicks off. That way, when you are purchasing your notebooks and pens for the start of school, you can also grab a countdown calendar for cookie season.

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