Sonder definition:  The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one’s own, which they are constantly living despite one’s lack of awareness of it.

It’s really a beautiful concept once you think about it, because in all reality, the girl who silently sits alone at the back of the class has her own life and personality. She’s not just a background character in your story; she has her own story. 

I first came across the word sonder when I was in middle school. If you’re a Brent Faiyaz fan, then, of course, you’ve listened to a few, if not all, of the songs by Sonder. At the time, I didn’t know what the word meant; I don’t think I had even heard the word or definition before then. 

I became intrigued by the meaning after seeing people with “sonder” tattoos. After looking it up, the definition definitely changed my perspective on things. It changed my interactions with people, made me more empathetic, and even just made me more understanding. A lot of the time, it’s just so fascinating to think about how your classmates have a life after 4:05 p.m.

Understanding and adapting the sonder definition into your daily interactions will make you a better person overall. Instead of getting upset that your teacher hasn’t graded your late assignment, you should consider that she may be a mother who has to tend to her children or a daughter who has to take care of her elderly parents. All of our lives have some sort of complexity. A lot of the time, we expect kindness and leniency from others, but unfortunately, we don’t always do the same to them.

At times, we come across angry people who just seem mad at the world. We judge. We argue. We dismiss. I’m sure most people don’t just choose to adopt this angry-person persona, but that’s what they give off and what we see and receive. Again, we judge and dismiss. You don’t know what caused them to be this way; despite feeling the need to judge, we rarely feel the need to ask why. Every single person on this earth is experiencing ups and downs in their uncertain, confusing, and complicated walk of life. We need to all adopt the concept of sonder into our words, minds, and actions.

Stepping back and realizing each of us has a story and we are not a main character in everyone else’s is a seemingly simple idea that is profoundly difficult to implement.

I challenge you to think beyond yourself and consider the countless obstacles that the individuals around you face daily. With compassion, we can make the world a better place together.