Sibling Emptinester: Learning to deal with older siblings absence highlights importance of relationship

Danica Mendes

From fighting to loving, making memories to making each other cry, the love/hate relationship amongst siblings is a powerful thing.

I have a older sister named Andrea and we weren’t as close as I would’ve liked to be, mainly because of the three year age gap between us. She used to despise me whenever she was three and I was a newborn. She would always be jealous of me because I was a newborn and getting all of the attention. She didn’t fully understand why I needed so much attention and why she wasn’t much of it.

It got to the point where one day I was asleep in my crib and her devious mind lead her into my room where she proceeded to bite my big toe. I cried so much, and hardly ever cried as a baby. My parents ran into the room trying to get my sisters teeth off from around my toe. Eventually, she let go, but I almost lost my toe that night.

Eventually, she got used to me and ended up actually liking me to the point where I was her little baby. She would carry me everywhere and I would laugh and smile like every other newborn. We carried on happily until she went to middle school and her attitude completely changed. She became snobby and mean and she would always think that I was annoying because I would try to go into her room to play.

We would always get into fights about the same things, though they were always small fights that we would get over by the end of the day. It was the same thing for years until my freshman year and her senior year of high school. We started having a real bond that I’ve never expected to happen. We practically did everything together, we went to school, hung out with friends, stayed after school for meetings, and went home together.

We still had little disagreements, but nothing like how it used to be. Having a bond like that was great until realizing that she was leaving for college after the school year was over. It was a tough year knowing that I was soon to be an only child. However, instead of dwelling over the fact that she would be leaving, we decided to make the best of it.

The thought of being an only child now makes me upset because I miss my sister. I miss the bonding, pointless fighting, going to school together everyday, seeing her around the house, and talking to her. Everyone talks about an only child adjusting to a new sibling, but I would argue that it’s even more difficult for a younger sibling to adjust to being an only child after years of bonding. Andrea and I hardly talk anymore because she’s either at work or class and i’m in school.

I wish Andrea and I had taken advantage of all the years we had together to create a better relationship, but what matters is the relationship we have right now. So I encourage others who have siblings to be a little nicer and get to know them a little more because time flies and living in regret makes for a bitter life.