Girl Code: Three unspoken rules to live by for dating, friendship

Reagan Brown

Every girl knows the unspoken rules of Girl Code, but despite of knowing these guidelines, many girls don’t uphold the code. Once a guy gets into the mix, girls feel that the rules don’t apply to them anymore, but they’re wrong. Guys can cause longtime friendships between two girls to end in a heartbeat. The real question, is why? I want to help refresh the memory of most girls and explain why it’s important to remember and honor the Girl Code.

Rule #1: Don’t let boys ruin friendships. When you have a crush on a boy, your best friend is the one who gives you advice. They are the person who tells you when he’s secretly looking at you or helps you gain the courage to talk to him.

When you start dating that guy, don’t forget about your friend. Having a boyfriend can be new and exciting, but your other friendships are important too. Talk to your friends and let them know that you don’t want them to feel left out.

Communication is important and your friend will most likely be understanding if you just let them know what’s going on. Make it clear that you want to spend time equally with everyone. It’s easy to be blinded by your feelings when a relationship is new, but you can’t forget about everybody else. Chances are the relationship with a boy (especially in high school) won’t last, past graduation, but your girlfriends will always be there for you.

Remember that your friends were there for when you had no one else, and will still be there for you in the future. Friendships between two longtime friends shouldn’t end over a boy. Communicate with each other, and don’t forget: sisters over misters!

Rule #2: Never go after your friend’s crush. Many girls have experienced a friend pursuing their crush. I have been on the receiving end of a friend doing this and it’s not fun. The only way this can happen is if rule number one was violated.

While a friend can ask to see how you would feel, she shouldn’t have to. She should know that you have a crush on that person and would be hurt if they pursued a relationship. If they don’t ask, then they are trying to hide it, which is even worse. While you have every right to mad if this has happened to you, there are ways to find a solution.

Be honest with your friend, but most importantly, be honest with yourself. If you’re not okay with your friend dating someone you had a crush on then talk to them. Hopefully they will be a good friend, understand where you’re coming from, and back off. If you’re the friend that likes your best friend’s crush, you should talk them.

The conversation might be uncomfortable, but it’s still worth it. Explain your feelings to your friend, and if they’re not okay with it, then be understanding. Think about your friend’s feelings and really think if it’s truly worth losing your girlfriend for over boy. If you value the friendship with your friend, don’t betray them over a guy. If you end up with the guy, don’t rub it in, no matter if you were the first person with the crush or the second.

Rule #3: Be understanding. If you find yourself on the other side as the equation and you are the third wheel, be patient.

Once a friend is in a new relationship, it’ll seem like they are spending less time with you, and they probably are, but they have added another person into their life. Even if it’s difficulty, being selfish won’t help a friendship and you have to come to terms with the idea of sharing your best friends time with the new person in their life.

Don’t treat your friend poorly because they brought someone new into their life. Don’t start drama even if you don’t like the guy, instead make an effort to get to know him.

I’m not saying to keep your mouth shut if he truly is a bad guy, but your friend is more likely to believe you if they think you are on their side and making an effort too.

Although there are many rules that go along with the Girl Code, these two are the most important. Too many great friendships are ruined simply by the lack of communication between two people and because girls idolize boys too much that they forget who their real friends are. It’s totally fine to date and fall in love, just remember to put your sisters before your misters. These rules are complicated because, for the most part, they are unspoken, but that doesn’t mean they can just be ignored.