Stuff your turkey, not your stockings

As the end of October comes to a close, the spooky Halloween month fades into November. November marks the beginning of two months of the living nightmare that is the Christmas season. Now, you may ask, why does the Christmas season start in November? Well to tell you the truth, it starts in early October, or even earlier. Why does it start so early? It’s because people think they need to feel holiday cheer before it needs to be felt.

I wouldn’t consider myself a Grinch, and I don’t say bah-humbug to Christmas, not at all, but when a holiday takes more than a month for itself despite there being two holidays before it and, when Christmas stuff goes up before school even starts, I have a problem. It makes me uncomfortable when I see Christmas trees go up before summer even ends, or fall even begins.

The big holiday everyone knows and loves is also just a huge marketing campaign that earns businesses more money in the months of November and December than the rest of the year. The American version of Santa Claus literally originated from part of a Coca-Cola ad from the 30’s. The big fat guy in a red suit lost his sainthood in order to become a marketing scheme to keep children in check so their parents would buy them more things for Christmas instead of giving them a lump of something that goes in a fireplace.

If you hate Black Friday and you work in retail, I’m sorry. I am oh, so sorry. Black Friday gets people killed guys. Bodily harm comes to people who shop at midnight in order to get a flat screen they won’t be able to afford because their medical bills will be too high after they get trampled. Retail workers everywhere miss out on precious time with their family in order to pander to people who shop on Black Friday. They also endure bodily harm due to the fact that people are rude and don’t really know when to stop fighting someone for a toy that will break in of ten minutes after it is given to a child on Christmas morning. The true meaning of Christmas has been long gone, thanks to this unofficial day of mourning for everyone’s dignity.

Don’t get me started on Christmas movies. Don’t even. I do very much enjoy the animated classics and animated shorts such as the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, The Grinch (not the one with Jim Carrey), Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer and so forth, but the overly produced Christmas movie where a little girl or boy wants to find the true meaning of Christmas via getting everyone to sing a stupid Christmas carol from the 40’s and everyone magically remembering what Christmas is all about, horribly inaccurate renditions of the baby Jesus’ birth, or rom-coms about falling in love on Christmas.

Some may say that preparing for Christmas early means less stress when the big day arrives, and I agree. Preparing for Christmas is a good idea, but not seven months before December even comes up. Christmas stuff doesn’t need to be in stores before the end of November, no matter how much you love the holiday. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone into Hobby Lobby for something random like tie-dye, and I see Christmas trees. In July.

Leave all the Santas, elves, and nativity scenes in the attic for another month or so, or at least until after Thanksgiving. That’s a holiday too. It’s like Christmas without the presents and all of the other things that come along with the winter holiday. Stuff your turkey, not your stockings, and wait just a little bit longer for Christmas to come.