Cats are the best animal. Although this statement is seemingly nothing more than an opinionated claim, it is backed by the most credible source to ever walk the face of the earth – me. This article is not argumentative, as everything said by me is fact, leaving no room for criticism or debate :3.

Cats are not only the best animals but they also make the best pets, and are overall fascinating creatures. Overall they are incredibly low maintenance, quiet, and generally potty-trained. These statements do not even apply to the average toddler, so you can add kids to the list of things cats are better than.

The ideal pet is one that is affectionate but not needy, and minimizes the path of destruction it leaves in its wake; cats perfectly fit the profile.

Sure, it’s true that a cat may tear down your whole Christmas tree and leave a full roll of shredded toilet paper for you to come home to, but this mischievous behavior is excused because, in truth, they are really just little kitties, plus, experts say that it most likely means that your Christmas tree was ugly, so in reality they are doing you a favor.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I’d much rather clean up the wonderful blessing of shredded toilet paper my cat so thoughtfully gifts me than the poo poo and pee pee that dogs make sure to leave in areas where you have the highest likelihood of stepping in their revolting, rancid, disgusting, putrid, nauseating, and FOUL mess. Cats have a little more class, and choose to do their business in the privacy of their litter box.

If anyone doubts that cats are incredibly loyal companions, Blackie the cat proves them all wrong. When the cat’s millionaire owner Ben Rea passed away, he intentionally refrained from leaving his wealth to family or friends, and instead left his 7-million pound (about 9 million USD) fortune to Blackie instead! Blackie was the last survivor of 15 cats of the late owner, and must have been a pretty good pal to earn the entirety of Rea’s inheritance.

As an owner of four cats, one thing I have noticed is that they have different personalities just like humans do. For example, take my cats Peggy and Pearl.

Peggy (my favorite) is more reserved than Pearl, but she’s the most loyal cat I could have ever asked for. Peggy is like me if I was a cat. She’s fairly regimented (napping in certain places at certain times of the day), intelligent, sweet to everyone but has favorites, skittish, and needs time to herself after being social.

Pearl is the polar opposite of Peggy. Pearl is about six months old, the cat equivalent to a teenager. She’s playful, energetic, and really stupid. Pearl is affectionate and has no favorites, but this is likely because she isn’t smart enough to tell humans apart.

Although Peggy and Pearl aren’t similar in the slightest, they each contribute something to my family: Peggy choosing to be my loyal companion, and Pearl being super silly and cute.

My sweet angel kitties are pretty great, but they aren’t the only example of the superiority of cats over every other animal. Cats all over the globe have proven themselves to be capable of so much more than being house pets.

Stubbs is an orange tabby cat who was the mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska for 20 whole years! Stubbs is said to have been adored by all the townspeople and successful in office, so perhaps it’s time to broaden his horizons and strive for world domination next.

Whether you like it or not, the facts all check out. Cats are simply the best animal with no known competition. They’ve proven time and time again to be the most polite, affectionate, responsible, and accomplished four-legged companions, and we are truly lucky to be graced with their wonderful presence.